Game Day Dad

When we were first getting used to having our baby living with us my dad liked to talk about how he could come home and sleep with us jumping up and down on the sofa around him.   He laughed about how he just didn’t care because he was tired and he’d just sleep through it.   I can actually remember that because the man would sleep through anything.    I used to wonder if he was just ignoring us but then he’d snore or roll and it was pretty apparent.  

I was terrified of having a baby feeling like I’d never sleep again.   Every little squeak or rustling that she’d make would have me on my feet and in her room.   If I was in the same room as her I couldn’t sleep.   It was terrible.    Over time things would change and finally it hit a point.   That point looked a little like the following:

We were sleeping

This picture isn’t of that first time.   This is a picture of around the 20th time we fell asleep like this together.   However I can remember the first time it happened.   I was feeding her on the couch and she fell asleep.  I nodded off and my wife touched my shoulder and laughed at me in awe because typically I can’t just fall asleep like that even if I’m alone.   As a parent I imagine we all hit this point where we can sleep together as such.  “Family sleeping” if you will is apparently a natural reaction to having babies.  I think I can safely advise you to get ready for it even if you’re the worst at falling asleep unless perfectly comfortable because I’m that guy.    I can honestly say that since having gotten used to our baby girl I can fall asleep faster than I ever could before.

Further I really enjoy the time together when we fall asleep like such.   It’s soothing to me to hold her and wake up to her being there sleeping.   She also naps longer if one of her parents are holding her which is nice.     It’s a bonding experience that every parent will dread but learn to appreciate with time.

This one is a tough one because there’s no cut and dry answer to it.    There’ll be times when your baby is cranky, tired and just won’t go to sleep.   They’ll just continue to play and/or squirm about with no real reason crying the whole time.   Most of us as guys are fixers and we’re going to sit there with our baby like some sort of screaming rubik cube.   The only problem is this puzzle can’t be solved by holding it and moving it around.

As you’ve had your child for a while you’ll know what their cries and attitudes mean.   You’ll be able to hear the difference between hurt, hungry and being a brat in their voice.     This experience will allow you to know when you can do what I’m saying next.

Let your baby cry themself to sleep in their crib.

My daughter fights her sleep terribly so we’ve had to become masters of this quick.   She doesn’t want to sleep as if she’s scared she’ll miss something.    So sometimes when we’ve tried it all we just let her cry until she goes to sleep.   We monitor her of course and many times we bend and go pick her up but you’ve got to know that option has to be used for your sanity and for your babies growth.

What Doctors Say About Crying

They’ll always say it depends however I’ll tell you what the on call nurse told us when we called about crying.   Our baby had never cried longer than 10 minutes and one night she was just fussing badly for over 30 minutes.   The nurse told us if there wasn’t anything obviously wrong they won’t even worry about it until the baby had cried for over 2 hours continuously.    At around the 1 hour 15 minute mark our little pumpkin went to sleep and stayed down all night.   We attributed it to gas but we’ll never really know because it didn’t happen again.

I bet you’ve never heard a dad say they got beat like a government mule by an infant?  Well trust me you’re going to have days like this.    It seemed a decent blog subject almost as a warning to all you soon to be dads out there that you should know there’s a good chance your baby is flat out going to want mom and nothing you do can make her really happy.  It’s a tough situation when the security net that is mom has to go away for 6 hours and you’re one on one with a cute little angel that turns in to a feisty little crab.  Mom came home and took her at which point she instantly smiled and got cheery for the first time in hours.   I couldn’t help but smile at her, kiss her and 15 minutes later I was sleeping it off like I just did my taxes.   

This has happened to me on average about once a month since our baby was born.   I’ve been alone with her for a long span many times with no problems and we had a lot of fun together but sometimes mom’s the only thing that makes her happy.   All I can do is my best and remind myself that it’s not personal and she’s not out to get me.    I stay calm as possible, feed her, change her and attempt to play with her or put her to sleep.   I reflect on how my mom always made me feel better growing up when nothing else helped.   It’s completely natural  since moms carry us for 9 months and a vast majority of the time spend by far more time with us.   We love our moms and dad I’m sorry but you’re second best.   

I love my baby and wouldn’t trade her for anything but boy she beat me up last night.

I just got in trouble which brings up this post based on a paragraph I wrote a few months back when we first got our new baby.   This is one of the first things you’ll want to learn or become conscious of when you’re getting ready to having your new baby in the house.

Boys and therefore men are louder than women on average.   Much louder in fact you’ll find the first time your wife looks at you like she wants to stab you due to slamming of a door, loud clicking of a latch, dropping a box on the ground, etc.   At the time of this paragraph our baby is around 2 months old and I’ve probably startled her in this method around 7 times.   Twice I distinctly remember were in the middle of the night due to the long night that follows.   Mind you I’m not saying you must be quiet because lots of babies can sleep through any racket however sudden startling noises that most men make often need to be minded.   Start practicing now!

Seriously when people tell me this all the time I get the same feeling when someone tells me they finished a case of beer in 2 hours.   It sounds like an urban myth people use to scare you.   I’m here to tell you that for some reason small children love the car rides.   In fact my daughter just liked being carried around in the car seat.   It’s got to be along the same lines as riding a carnival ride but children infants like it.   So if you have a night where a bad turn of events lead to a baby that won’t sleep and you’re running out of options give it a shot.   Strap’em in and drive around the block a few times.   You might just get to sleep that night.

The above paragraph I wrote after about 2 months.   Here we are 6 months later and it’s as true as ever.   In fact my infant can be in a horrible mood and we start driving someplace and there’s a sudden silence.   I have no idea why or how but she falls out.   I’ll drive back to the house and carefully bring the baby carrier inside.   It’s amazing how babies work.